He sat at the sea shore, peering out at the weary fishermen sitting in a near-bye boat pulling in their nets. They were oblivious to the blaze of a warm fire he had kindled and unaware of the fish on his man made spit.
He surveyed the tired slump of their shoulders as their voices echoed across the sea, barking orders back and forth at one another, sometimes joking and jostling one another in the boat to cut the tension that was among them. It had been a long night and they were discouraged to go home and have nothing to sell and nothing to offer at the dinner table..
"Cast it to the other side" the man called out from the shore. They turned to the voice, eyes surveyed the intruder from a distance, almost mockingly they responded..."We have fished all night and caught nothing..." " Cast it to the other side" the man called again. The men looked at one another, a couple of them snickered under a weary breath, a few others murmured, more than ready to go home, and the few remaining shrugged, pulled up the weight of the heavy linked net, and threw it to the opposite side of the boat, and waited.
The buoys sunk bobbing once, then twice and then suddenly entirely submerging. Shocked they hurried to the edge of the boat and began pulling in the nets, fish were flopping about in a frenzy to be released, as they tugged the boat shifted from the weight.Incredulous, they looked at one another in in wide eyed shock, this was more fish than they had seen in any catch! A massive bounty that just kept coming, it seemed to be impossible since they had been fishing in that exact same spot all night to now catch fish that had been apparently just avoiding the nets- it was as though God himself had suddenly blessed them .. Recognition hit them with a sudden rush of understanding- It was the Master!
Peters eyes immediately teared up, he peered in the distance, it was Jesus! almost without thought he threw on his cloak and tightened it snugly on his waist, and jumped over the wobbling boat. and swam to shore...
Drenched and chilled a re-energized Peter stood before Christ and embraced Him. Something so amazing could barely be fathomed, it was almost a dream to Peter, it WAS Jesus, truly! He had died, breathed his last, and Peter had shamefully slunk into the shadows and watched..and now he was ushering Peter towards the warmth of the fire and the crisp enticing aroma of fresh fish..the reality of the fish so long labored for, and uncaught , and the fish offered to him so readily, dimmed in comparison to the miracle of the Savior now standing before Him.
Drip,drip, drip, Jesus pulled Peter towards a large rock nearest the fire and spoke to him.
"Peter, Do you love me, (sacrificially, and fully )?"Yes Lord, you know I do" Peter said without hesitation.
Jesus threw a stick towards the fire. "Feed my sheep"
Peter recalled the lessons Christ taught to the 5 thousand, waiting on a mountainside hungry, as the sunset began to fade, a crowd of boisterous voices stirred the atmosphere as the passing baskets of fish and bread were distributed. Miracles are what Christ did, and he had seen so many... Drip, Drip, drip.
"Peter, Do you Love me( sacrificially and truly?)" Peter looked in Jesus eyes confused that he had asked him the same exact question yet again. Frustration tinged with a little guilt were laced in his response " Yes Lord, you know I do". The glance of two close friends passed between them, and moments of silence filled with tension now crackled in the air. Drip, drip, drip..
Peter remembered as story after story, parable after parable began to fill his mind, so many lessons, so much restoration, so much depth and intensity. healing, and joy and then the deepest sorrow of the last day he had seen Jesus alive, again the tears brimmed and wet his eyelashes, forcibly restrained. He quickly ducked his head and turned from view, not wishing to face the eyes that looked at him with such love and forgiveness.. Drip, drip, drip...After all the promises Peter had made to never leave Christ's side, he had left him at the cross, denied he even knew him, he stifled the sob that that was in his throat, straightened his back, leaned towards the fire and tried to ease the discomfort of the long silence between them. He remembered the day Jesus called him the Rock,.. he was anything but a rock right now, anything but strong..
"Feed my sheep" Jesus said in a voice almost inaudible.
Peter glanced at Jesus, it was all he could bare at the moment, but he had to know, was Christ angry, dissapointed, hurt? The eyes of peace stared back at him as they always had, as they had before he had denied him, ...
Jesus had long called the people he had touched and ministered to the sheep, even gentiles..but, he did more than talk, he touched them, healed them, broke bread with them, knew them, stayed in their homes, laughed at their stories, played with the children in the meadow nearbye, he spoke of promise, and rebuked their staunch religious thinking that had caused them to not help one another, he was very much like a shepherd, who at night watched over the flocks, kept the wolves at bay, willing to give even his own life to pro..tec..t.. them Clarity... ...Drip, drip, drip....
"Peter , do you Love me, as your God? " Peter looked into the face of Christ, radiantly bathed in the last rays of sunlight, absolute love, absolute peace stood before him, Peter recalled Jesus saying "I will make you fishers of men", but today, Peter was anything but a fisher of men, in fact he was Not the rock Christ had told him he would be- Not the foundation for a church, and he was Not the Disciple, because he had walked away in fear and loss, and He was not a Fisher of men either, because right now as he sat dripping before his Savior, he had been fishing, for fish, not people. And yet, he had the audacity to say HE loved Christ, He had the nerve to sit in his dripping clothes, and say. You know I love you- but if loving meant serving Him as God...He had fallen horribly short.
Tears fell streaming down his cheeks in unchecked abandon, his voice trembled and was broken as he spoke, this time with conviction-"yes Lord, You know I love you!"
Sobs of remorse and understanding, racked his body, he was facing himself as he had failed to do anytime before, and thoughts ran through his head in rapid fire.Words are easy God, he thought, but faith is hard, I have given you words, not action, I have made your promises, but walked away, I have said I would never leave or betray you, but left you at the cross, and in the job you told me to accomplish I abandoned ship on it, and went fishing instead. Back to my old life, my old ways, my old thoughts..... I have fed no-one....Drip, drip ,drip....
Jesus stooped nearby, and poked the fire, then lifted Peter to his feet, in a gentle response he laid his hand on Peters trembling shoulders and said "Feed my sheep."
He pulled at the tunic Peter was wearing and pointed to a low hanging branch near the fire, Peter knowingly responded, and Jesus handed him his own cloak, saying "When you were a boy, you dressed yourself, you cinched your own garment tightly to yourself, ( Peter recalled doing that very thing just before he dove off the boat, with a rye smile he realized God had spoken to him, without his even knowing it in that action, for he was already in his loin cloth on the water, it would have been much easier for him to not have put on his cloak to jump in, but he had, and now Jesus was looking at his face with a half smile of amusement, tugging the garment snugger around Peters waste, and adding " but when you are old, someone else will dress you and care for you, and guide you"he said with a final glance and nod of approval.
Peter looked at his warm dry garment, and back into the masters eyes, and allowed fresh tears to fall, this time because he comprehended he was forgiven , and restored. Christ was not done with him yet! Yes Lord, I will follow you, I will die to myself and allow what you want to be fulfilled in me, I will let you be my provision, and my covering and my caretaker. I have been foolish and wandered long enough on my own, immature and lost without you, But Messiah I will learn to lead,and tend the sheep as you teach me to do, in your love, and with your grace, and because I know who to follow.
I love you Lord, I will Feed your Sheep.
This is a work of fiction, based on the Biblical story of Peter and Christ in John 21. It is meant not to be taken literally, but to increase your understanding, of traditions of Jesus era, to encourage your sense of purposing, of forgiveness, and of the great commission, and the value of souls to Christ. I pray it blesses and encourages you, For even though we are as faulted and broken as Peter, we can draw near to Christ, and let him lead us, direct us, and enlighten us, so that we can touch the lives of others more effectively!
Friday, October 7, 2011
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Out of the ash bin, Christ restoring love out of sin and regret
I am a people watcher, it's an inherit trait I'm afraid. My Dad used to take me to coffee at Denny's as a teen. We would sit and watch people walk in and out of the coffee shop, carrying their life baggage of trouble, disheveled clothing, morning swagger, a thousand little details most would miss, and we watched. You could really see when a life was worn down by hardships. Crease lines on their faces, wrinkles deep around the eyes and above the brows set in a face long worn by ache said it all. Or, there were those who's creases of life, showed in their smile lines, but there definitely was a distinctive marking that personified one persons life walk over another's.
There is as well, a demeanor to someone not straddled to the baggage of their lives, shoulders are not slumped as though carrying a burden, voices are lighter, tones are more expressive and views more positive. It is not that they have not seen troubles or felt of heartache. It is more that they chose to not carry it. Then there are those, who are so overwhelmed by unrepentant sin they have DE-sensitized themselves to the cost of it, as an example:
A weary man sat in a clinic awaiting his testing, disgruntled that the doctors were putting his life on hold. He ignored the fact that their were requirements made of him to fast, the hours previous to his operation, opting to eat in the middle of the night. He ignored the fact that his paperwork clearly stated to not take any medications prior to his operation and took what he always did with a chaser of vodka and two pills more than prescribed. In this state of medicated numbness he has had to miss a thousand precious moments with family, playing with grandchildren, dinners and family planned activities. Birthdays and holidays are all a haze, while family members ache at the loss of a person they have watched die to the known real world, staring at a soul they love who rarely comes out from the haze of addiction. He is bound, so much so that he cannot even admit to himself he abuses what is given him. He is drowning out the known world for a medicated stupor that desensitizes his memory and numbs out his emotions. It all breaks down to this, Regret and Sin.
We all have baggage lovies, all of us. Hurts that were spoken into us as children, abuses done to us, incidents that have scarred our inner man that no one will ever see or know. We have buried them but they speak out in emotional spurts of anger, depression, aggression or emotional and physical abuse. They are hidden in our use of drugs or our alcoholism. They are repressed and cause to be cold, withdrawn and bitter. The baggage is still there and whether we acknowledge it or not, everyone CAN see what your carrying. Some have handed the heaviness over to God knowing there is no way to carry our lives of hurt around without being burdened by its weight. It takes a strong strong soul to confess they need Gods hand to recover.
It reminds me of when Jonah came to Nineveh. He didn't want to go anywhere near that wretched place, nor speak to those vile sinful people. God had to virtually swallow up Jonah's pride to restore him. What a hard lesson to learn on humility! I guarantee his time sitting and thinking in the pitch black of acid waste was a wake up call like no other! "You cannot run from me Jonah! Fulfill your purpose!, was the voice of Gods reasoning to Jonahs resistance. The realities that he faced were real. Death, slow and agonizing, completely alone stared him in the eye. No one would know what had become of him. None would realize the gravity and despair of his heart since he had walked away from Gods will. Then he caught hold of it, that WAS Nineveh! That was the people God had wanted him to talk to. Lost without knowing where they were headed! Nothing can touch our hearts as radically as identifying with others pain via experiencing it ourselves! When Jonah came into agreement with God he was spit onto the dry land of his resistance. He faced those he wanted to hate but no longer could. Can you imagine what the radical preaching a man saved from his own destruction would be like? Passionate words spilled into a people as absolutely lost as Jonah was in the whale, and like wildfire the reality of God sent sparks of revelation from soul to soul to soul! Until at last it met its peak in the kings ear.
How amazing is it that the city spoke to the King, and not Jonah? That the city showed a King what restoration looked like and in turn he to was fueled towards repentance! Covering himself in sack cloth and ashes, he plunked himself in the lowest place a man of his position could ever get to, the trash heap! Reducing himself and his pride and his stature to the place of utter and total submission. He encountered the truest form of understanding, the fullness of Grace. WOW!
Perhaps there is an area you can identify with in this. That Like Jonah you may be sitting in the dark acidic, putrid belly of poor decisions made in disobedience to God. And in that you also can see how it would immobilize you. Lets admit it, if you cannot face God with where you are, in the whale of disobedience, you wont be able to see where you are headed either. Time to hit dry land!
See the king never had a knowledge or understanding of who God was, but what he did have is the smarts to realize he needed to be in the right place, and to do the right thing! His did not consider his pride more important than getting right before God. And baby that is where we need to be to. It is not worth it to stay hidden when it is eating us alive. We need to come out and face the son again. We need to lay ourselves smack dab in the pile of ashes and mess we have made of things, and say Enough!!! If there is more of God to be had then, I want more! I will not let anything of me remain. I wont allow pride to sway me, sin to delay me, or my emotions to waylay me. The time to allow God to make something beautiful of my life, is NOW! Come out of the ash bin of your Nineveh, out of the Belly of disappointment, disillusionment and disobedience. Come into the one and only flame of Christ that can turn your ash bin into something of beauty! Lovies, allow God to change your repentance into restoration!
Father, I pray for those who read this, Jesus love on us, lavishly, settle today in our hearts and minds and Spirits the need to know you more. Father I pray nothing of selfish pride will keep us from you. Jesus, kindle the flame and burn away that old sinful man. Mighty God, make us a beautiful soul restored by your Grace. Tender us by your mercies and strengthen us by your love. Renew our walks to a more genuine stance, able to admit fault and walk fully in your amazing restorative power. Touch us oh Lord, in a mighty, healing and powerful way! AMEN
There is as well, a demeanor to someone not straddled to the baggage of their lives, shoulders are not slumped as though carrying a burden, voices are lighter, tones are more expressive and views more positive. It is not that they have not seen troubles or felt of heartache. It is more that they chose to not carry it. Then there are those, who are so overwhelmed by unrepentant sin they have DE-sensitized themselves to the cost of it, as an example:
A weary man sat in a clinic awaiting his testing, disgruntled that the doctors were putting his life on hold. He ignored the fact that their were requirements made of him to fast, the hours previous to his operation, opting to eat in the middle of the night. He ignored the fact that his paperwork clearly stated to not take any medications prior to his operation and took what he always did with a chaser of vodka and two pills more than prescribed. In this state of medicated numbness he has had to miss a thousand precious moments with family, playing with grandchildren, dinners and family planned activities. Birthdays and holidays are all a haze, while family members ache at the loss of a person they have watched die to the known real world, staring at a soul they love who rarely comes out from the haze of addiction. He is bound, so much so that he cannot even admit to himself he abuses what is given him. He is drowning out the known world for a medicated stupor that desensitizes his memory and numbs out his emotions. It all breaks down to this, Regret and Sin.
We all have baggage lovies, all of us. Hurts that were spoken into us as children, abuses done to us, incidents that have scarred our inner man that no one will ever see or know. We have buried them but they speak out in emotional spurts of anger, depression, aggression or emotional and physical abuse. They are hidden in our use of drugs or our alcoholism. They are repressed and cause to be cold, withdrawn and bitter. The baggage is still there and whether we acknowledge it or not, everyone CAN see what your carrying. Some have handed the heaviness over to God knowing there is no way to carry our lives of hurt around without being burdened by its weight. It takes a strong strong soul to confess they need Gods hand to recover.
It reminds me of when Jonah came to Nineveh. He didn't want to go anywhere near that wretched place, nor speak to those vile sinful people. God had to virtually swallow up Jonah's pride to restore him. What a hard lesson to learn on humility! I guarantee his time sitting and thinking in the pitch black of acid waste was a wake up call like no other! "You cannot run from me Jonah! Fulfill your purpose!, was the voice of Gods reasoning to Jonahs resistance. The realities that he faced were real. Death, slow and agonizing, completely alone stared him in the eye. No one would know what had become of him. None would realize the gravity and despair of his heart since he had walked away from Gods will. Then he caught hold of it, that WAS Nineveh! That was the people God had wanted him to talk to. Lost without knowing where they were headed! Nothing can touch our hearts as radically as identifying with others pain via experiencing it ourselves! When Jonah came into agreement with God he was spit onto the dry land of his resistance. He faced those he wanted to hate but no longer could. Can you imagine what the radical preaching a man saved from his own destruction would be like? Passionate words spilled into a people as absolutely lost as Jonah was in the whale, and like wildfire the reality of God sent sparks of revelation from soul to soul to soul! Until at last it met its peak in the kings ear.
How amazing is it that the city spoke to the King, and not Jonah? That the city showed a King what restoration looked like and in turn he to was fueled towards repentance! Covering himself in sack cloth and ashes, he plunked himself in the lowest place a man of his position could ever get to, the trash heap! Reducing himself and his pride and his stature to the place of utter and total submission. He encountered the truest form of understanding, the fullness of Grace. WOW!
Perhaps there is an area you can identify with in this. That Like Jonah you may be sitting in the dark acidic, putrid belly of poor decisions made in disobedience to God. And in that you also can see how it would immobilize you. Lets admit it, if you cannot face God with where you are, in the whale of disobedience, you wont be able to see where you are headed either. Time to hit dry land!
See the king never had a knowledge or understanding of who God was, but what he did have is the smarts to realize he needed to be in the right place, and to do the right thing! His did not consider his pride more important than getting right before God. And baby that is where we need to be to. It is not worth it to stay hidden when it is eating us alive. We need to come out and face the son again. We need to lay ourselves smack dab in the pile of ashes and mess we have made of things, and say Enough!!! If there is more of God to be had then, I want more! I will not let anything of me remain. I wont allow pride to sway me, sin to delay me, or my emotions to waylay me. The time to allow God to make something beautiful of my life, is NOW! Come out of the ash bin of your Nineveh, out of the Belly of disappointment, disillusionment and disobedience. Come into the one and only flame of Christ that can turn your ash bin into something of beauty! Lovies, allow God to change your repentance into restoration!
Father, I pray for those who read this, Jesus love on us, lavishly, settle today in our hearts and minds and Spirits the need to know you more. Father I pray nothing of selfish pride will keep us from you. Jesus, kindle the flame and burn away that old sinful man. Mighty God, make us a beautiful soul restored by your Grace. Tender us by your mercies and strengthen us by your love. Renew our walks to a more genuine stance, able to admit fault and walk fully in your amazing restorative power. Touch us oh Lord, in a mighty, healing and powerful way! AMEN
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)