I am a people watcher, it's an inherit trait I'm afraid. My Dad used to take me to coffee at Denny's as a teen. We would sit and watch people walk in and out of the coffee shop, carrying their life baggage of trouble, disheveled clothing, morning swagger, a thousand little details most would miss, and we watched. You could really see when a life was worn down by hardships. Crease lines on their faces, wrinkles deep around the eyes and above the brows set in a face long worn by ache said it all. Or, there were those who's creases of life, showed in their smile lines, but there definitely was a distinctive marking that personified one persons life walk over another's.
There is as well, a demeanor to someone not straddled to the baggage of their lives, shoulders are not slumped as though carrying a burden, voices are lighter, tones are more expressive and views more positive. It is not that they have not seen troubles or felt of heartache. It is more that they chose to not carry it. Then there are those, who are so overwhelmed by unrepentant sin they have DE-sensitized themselves to the cost of it, as an example:
A weary man sat in a clinic awaiting his testing, disgruntled that the doctors were putting his life on hold. He ignored the fact that their were requirements made of him to fast, the hours previous to his operation, opting to eat in the middle of the night. He ignored the fact that his paperwork clearly stated to not take any medications prior to his operation and took what he always did with a chaser of vodka and two pills more than prescribed. In this state of medicated numbness he has had to miss a thousand precious moments with family, playing with grandchildren, dinners and family planned activities. Birthdays and holidays are all a haze, while family members ache at the loss of a person they have watched die to the known real world, staring at a soul they love who rarely comes out from the haze of addiction. He is bound, so much so that he cannot even admit to himself he abuses what is given him. He is drowning out the known world for a medicated stupor that desensitizes his memory and numbs out his emotions. It all breaks down to this, Regret and Sin.
We all have baggage lovies, all of us. Hurts that were spoken into us as children, abuses done to us, incidents that have scarred our inner man that no one will ever see or know. We have buried them but they speak out in emotional spurts of anger, depression, aggression or emotional and physical abuse. They are hidden in our use of drugs or our alcoholism. They are repressed and cause to be cold, withdrawn and bitter. The baggage is still there and whether we acknowledge it or not, everyone CAN see what your carrying. Some have handed the heaviness over to God knowing there is no way to carry our lives of hurt around without being burdened by its weight. It takes a strong strong soul to confess they need Gods hand to recover.
It reminds me of when Jonah came to Nineveh. He didn't want to go anywhere near that wretched place, nor speak to those vile sinful people. God had to virtually swallow up Jonah's pride to restore him. What a hard lesson to learn on humility! I guarantee his time sitting and thinking in the pitch black of acid waste was a wake up call like no other! "You cannot run from me Jonah! Fulfill your purpose!, was the voice of Gods reasoning to Jonahs resistance. The realities that he faced were real. Death, slow and agonizing, completely alone stared him in the eye. No one would know what had become of him. None would realize the gravity and despair of his heart since he had walked away from Gods will. Then he caught hold of it, that WAS Nineveh! That was the people God had wanted him to talk to. Lost without knowing where they were headed! Nothing can touch our hearts as radically as identifying with others pain via experiencing it ourselves! When Jonah came into agreement with God he was spit onto the dry land of his resistance. He faced those he wanted to hate but no longer could. Can you imagine what the radical preaching a man saved from his own destruction would be like? Passionate words spilled into a people as absolutely lost as Jonah was in the whale, and like wildfire the reality of God sent sparks of revelation from soul to soul to soul! Until at last it met its peak in the kings ear.
How amazing is it that the city spoke to the King, and not Jonah? That the city showed a King what restoration looked like and in turn he to was fueled towards repentance! Covering himself in sack cloth and ashes, he plunked himself in the lowest place a man of his position could ever get to, the trash heap! Reducing himself and his pride and his stature to the place of utter and total submission. He encountered the truest form of understanding, the fullness of Grace. WOW!
Perhaps there is an area you can identify with in this. That Like Jonah you may be sitting in the dark acidic, putrid belly of poor decisions made in disobedience to God. And in that you also can see how it would immobilize you. Lets admit it, if you cannot face God with where you are, in the whale of disobedience, you wont be able to see where you are headed either. Time to hit dry land!
See the king never had a knowledge or understanding of who God was, but what he did have is the smarts to realize he needed to be in the right place, and to do the right thing! His did not consider his pride more important than getting right before God. And baby that is where we need to be to. It is not worth it to stay hidden when it is eating us alive. We need to come out and face the son again. We need to lay ourselves smack dab in the pile of ashes and mess we have made of things, and say Enough!!! If there is more of God to be had then, I want more! I will not let anything of me remain. I wont allow pride to sway me, sin to delay me, or my emotions to waylay me. The time to allow God to make something beautiful of my life, is NOW! Come out of the ash bin of your Nineveh, out of the Belly of disappointment, disillusionment and disobedience. Come into the one and only flame of Christ that can turn your ash bin into something of beauty! Lovies, allow God to change your repentance into restoration!
Father, I pray for those who read this, Jesus love on us, lavishly, settle today in our hearts and minds and Spirits the need to know you more. Father I pray nothing of selfish pride will keep us from you. Jesus, kindle the flame and burn away that old sinful man. Mighty God, make us a beautiful soul restored by your Grace. Tender us by your mercies and strengthen us by your love. Renew our walks to a more genuine stance, able to admit fault and walk fully in your amazing restorative power. Touch us oh Lord, in a mighty, healing and powerful way! AMEN
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