The Tapestry

Today a dear and precious friend emailed me, after a long intermission between communication, and I am so happy that she did!!! She lived just down the street from me and every day she came strolling down to my house, or I hers, for a cup of coffee, laughter, tears or just good conversation. We are and were very close and I admired her greatly. She was gentle, soft spoken, well mannered. In other words, everything I was not! She  could gently rebuke my airy ways, and coming from that perspective I took it well. I looked at her often as the girl with all her ducks in a row. During that time, I envied that, all my ducks seemed bent to bump and colide into each other in hapless abandone!
My life after 20 some odd years of marriage lacked the luster of happy ducks paddling about, I am afraid, and I tended to cry on her shoulder alot. From my vantage point all the things I had hoped for in a marriage were lost to me, and the anger and oppression I felt in  my spouses need for control was many times deeply overwhelming. My ducks were dented and bruised, and as a Godly woman I couldnt perceive some days how I could keep my bobbing head above water.
The sweet thing about a Godly friend, is they give you perspective, such a wonderful gift. Even if your world is a dark place just having their presence in it can help greatly. I have never forgotten her input in my life, her always uplifting heart, something I needed so badly!
One day when I had come to visit her, heart heavy over some dissapointment or other, I recalled telling her, "What is this all about, why do I have to go through this, why is it that I prayed and prayed for a Godly marriage and I have done all I can to make it that way but nothing I try works?"
My whole view of life had become so dark and unhappy, the weight of it, a constant reminder of failure.
She looked at me and said this. "Tara, you are seeing life from the back side of a tapestry, from your view its tangles, knots, frizz, and mess. You cant see anything but that, and to you its your picture.
But God sees your life from the work its becoming, he sees the tapestry, he sees the picture.  Your not lost to the work you see on the tangled side, your part of this beautiful picture hes creating in you."
Some days our lives are a tangled knot of heartaches and hurts, pain and sorrow and loss. We see nothing good from what we have grown to become, we see no beauty in the quality of life we've grown to know.
But God sees us. God looks at the picture in entirity and says, "These dark colors here, are those storms you went through and those tears you cried, those heartaches you have muddled through. Without the darker parts these faces and those flowers would lack definition, see how they illistrate beauty now?
Yes Lord, I see.
I think it is hard to see definition in the middle of frustration, anger, loss and depression. Its hard to see hope, beauty, and a better picture but that is the very definition behind Faith dear ones.
Faith is like this tapestry. Its believing when you cannot see the beauty or the design between all the knots in your life that a God who is the master artist of beauty and good still works it out for your Good. Its knowing that even when you cannot fathom Good, the very essence of Good is God.
When you cannot see anything but the knots in your life, know that a Faithful God is still working on it, he never fails, the beauty is in the making, the depth is in the trusting, he WILL make your devistating circumstances a work of art!  Believing God when you cannot see beauty, belieivng him because his character is absolute, believing that his Words spoken in those quiet prayerful times to your aching heart are still TRUTH. Baby, thats faith. I love this area of scripture when going through a hard time, it perfectly displays where our thoughts need to be centered!
Philipians 4:8 says this-Finally Brethern, whatever is true ( all that God says to you in his word is true, Jesus is True, and his promises are true! Gods character is the epitimy of truth!) whatever is honorable ( What brings God Glory, how I conduct myself right now, how I convey myself, how I believe him, how he is faithful, how he is loving, how he does not lie to me, standing in those things are  honorable.) whatever is right (God you are right, how you tell me to live is right, how you live in me is right and believing you is right, even when I face all the wrong circumstances I know You are all that is right in me and you can make the wrong right, even if its only my point of view!) whatever is pure (Lord your words are pure, your love is pure, your Holiness is pure, help me to worhsip you from a pure heart, a heart that sees your good so that I can see things from a pure view. Give me a pure perspective God! Make pure= clear and cleansing, like water, unmuddy my thoughts, my heart, my mind so I can see YOU in my circumstances!) whatever is lovely (God, your name is lovely, sitting in your presence is lovely, knowing you love me is lovely, your power to change lives is so lovely. God, your view of me is lovely, your perspectives are lovely and praising you for who you are is lovely!! Your gifts to me in friends, church and family is lovely, your sunrises and sunsets are lovely, your beauty that surrounds me is lovely, the crisp winter snow, the smell of ocean air, the beauty of a flower, all these things I take for granted God, I forget how utterly Lovely you are, to give me love on display, so lovely!)  whatever is of Good repute (God what have I been saying about you, in how I react in my circumstance? Am I telling of your goodness to others or have I shown them a lack of trusting you at your words over my life. Forgive me God, I want my heart to know all these things, to speak your goodness. I want to recall your beauty, saying your truths over myself, over others, over my life, and bring you honor! Let my words Honor YOU and bring you a good report God!) if there is any excellence (God if I am going to see your good. I need to start agreeing your good, if I am going to see your hands in my life at work, I have to start saying your hands have not stopped working, if I am am going to believe your promises arent for everyone BUT me I have to start claiming your promises for myself! Because God I do believe you are amazing, you are beautiful, you are awesome, you have never changed your miracle making power, your works do Not fade, your love does Not die, and your character does Not lie, therefore I stand in Your excellence and believe your excellence for my life!) and if anything worthy of praise( God you are worthy of my praise, no matter what goes on in my life I need to learn to praise you because you are worthy, not because everything is going well God but simply because you are worthy! God I also need to learn to praise my life more, praise my family and lift them up, my friends, my blessings. I tend to look at all thats gone wrong more. God, forgive me, you bless me and I have taken it for granted, help me walk in praise, help me center on you more, help me let Go! Help me God think on You, because you loved me, because you deemed me worthy to love, thankyou. Beautiful, beautiful, Savior!) Let your mind dwell on these things!!!
(The importance of seeing God in our hardships is so fundamental to our faith, understanding that if I think on the things that will inspire, establish, reconstruct me, about God, about myself, and the positive things I see in life and others, I will begin to build even if my life has been shattered, construction starts brick by brick, not instantaneously!! Rebuilding by reconstructing my thoughts, oh God, to learn to dwell on YOU, what you do, who you are and how I need to concentrate on the positive, Amen!)
Faith is not about when you can see the art or the ducks paddling in unison. Faith is when you cannot percieve any good from an outcome, accept that your loving God is there handling it all. Faith is standing in the art work you cannot see and understanding that he is making something beautiful from your mess!
What a beautiful work you are...stitch by painstaking stitch, your a masterpiece.