Worship Warrior

I remember sitting in the church, waiting for my husband whom I had been separated with and had barely spoken to in almost 7 months, to come through the doors the day he had promised to go to counsel with me and move towards reconciliation. My heart beat with every squeak of the door a little faster, but each time it creaked open, it wasn't him. Service began and I was still waiting checking the door pensively every few minutes. After service was full underway, my daughter walked through the doors. Her weary face showed the mornings struggles red rimmed and worn out. She moved into my aisle and leaned over to my ear whispering, ”Mom, he's not coming, he left. I tried to stop him, but he just left, he's on his way to the airport.” Words cannot say the deep feeling of grief that enveloped me in that moment knowing all I had hoped for was lost. I looked into the face of the worship leader who had undermined me to take my place, and was trying to control the tears and welling pain which threatened to overtake me. I knew to well, there were people waiting to swoop on my brokenness like ravenous wolves, and my silent prayers wracked the heavens. The feelings of despair and panic hit me like a wave. As I looked into the church almost blinded with my sorrow, and yelled out silently to God ”God I can't take this, I cant break down here, where someone would love to see me crushed, I can't bare more God! I can't stay here, I can't worship! “As suddenly as I had moved to leave, an overwhelming peace flooded me, and a still small voice spoke to me, “ Do you worship because of your circumstances, or because of me?” My shame at the realization that even as a long term worship leader, and all the years of preaching and teaching the heart of worship, the truth of what worship was hit me like a ton of bricks! Worship was about God! The tears sprang forth like a well as I released my grip on all that had threatened to take me down, and gave God my fullest and probably my most passionate praise ever!! In that moment I experienced a release with God I had never before. I was barren and broken before him, I was 100% real. I believe Moses had his moment like this as well. When he walked onto the mountain and overlooked the great battle where his family and friends fought, his heart must have been heavy and weary, what a tremendous burden to bare...Standing for hours arms outstretched and walking stick in hand, the battle raged, and Moses stood in prayer and praise... Exodus 17:11 So it came about when Moses held his hand up that Israel prevailed, and when he let his hand down Amolek prevailed. Imagine holding your hands in praise for hours, from dusk to dawn, is it any wonder his two friends and supporters Aaron and Hur were needed for additional support? We as a church find it hard to even lift our hands a few minutes in tough times, but here is Moses, watching his loved ones in harms way, and if he gives up in this place, all that he loves will be lost! Moses, stands in a place where two battlefields rage, that of his heart, and that of his people. He is purposed for this moment, to one thing, standing as a example of worship and Praise to God! WOW! See all the land could view this man, positioned on a mountain top, surrendered to God, when he fell short, he lowered his hands, grew weary, and in doing so who knows how many people he loved were lost in battle, But, when he lifted those hands, in absolute desperate worship, that is when the victory was won...WOW !WOW! WOW! To me this speaks volumes. We have lost a major understanding of purposing to praise in the midst of life's battles. Sure its hard, sure its waring, but, it IS where our victory lies. Dead center in the middle of struggle, is triumph!.When we lift our hands in this weary, dry, hard, desolate place, when we lift our hearts and tears and frustrations, and give them to God in passionate praise, we win the battle. When we forget praise, when we walk in self, when we tire and say we cannot go another step, we fall back, and the battle wins over us. There is power in lifting these hands to a mighty God, and believing him at his words.YES THERE IS!!!


My heart will forever be a praiser, I have learned in deep sorrow, that the more I give God praise despite my circumstances the more I feel his overwhelming peace and joy. I go from depression to decompression, all that was inflated and huge in my eyes, becomes small, insignificant,and really pointless in the view of his beauty and presence. Here is the place, where you begin to whisper, God I will praise you, because you are worthy, faithful, beautiful, amazing, your words do not fail me, you are what you say oh God, and because of that, I worship, I give glory, I honor you, not because of what I am going through, but because you are worthy God, no matter what, you are WORTHY!

David came to an understanding of the deep soul of man calling  to the deep heart of God, when he danced barren before God in the courtyard, onlookers shook their heads and his wife scolded him, but still he danced, and danced. I love this story because it is the heartbeat of open and true praise. God sees us friends, he sees our heartaches, he sees our sins, he sees our foolishness, just like we are standing naked before him, nothing hidden before his eyes. See that's all David was doing, he was saying, the God who sees me just as I am, not in Kings Garments, not in fools clothes, but me David, that God loves me! And I have nothing to hide, nothing to keep from him, I give him all that is me, down to my core being, I hold nothing back, I wont even allow my dignity to stand in the way, because GOD is GOD and he will see right through my pretense, and he will see this naked soul. To me that is divinely beautiful. When we can come before majesty, and say, nothing hidden, nothing left behind, all of me Lord, I give. That's a place where we win battles....Hands up in praise- not because we have overcome our circumstances, but because the Blood of an over comer runs through our veins, because we are his kids, because he is Worthy!


There is no sweeter fragrance to God, than that of broken abandon. Here am I Lord....I am worn, I am tired, I am half crazy, but here am I, standing barren before you, with my arms raised, You are Worthy mountain mover!!!Worthy, Life changer!! Worthy, of every ounce of my praise!!! And I WILL resolve oh God to praise you in the battle, as I would in the victory, because God, Praising you is part of my victory....Lift him my lovelies, lift him up!!!