This is not my body! How did it get like this?
It's like I woke up and had slept wrong or something..I got up achy, tired looking ,added a few more wrinkles, and noticed I jiggle more. Jiggling, is soooo not good. I have not seen the body I had as a teen in a coons age-so I can't even hope to obtain that stance again,( I like that saying by the way, "In a coons age" I don't know why, Coons must live a long long time which really isn't my objective.OK random, moving on)
My body is the one I had about two yrs back, not skinny mini, but not queen of jiggly bits either. Queen of jiggly bits crept in on me unaware. I really believe that aliens have taken over our bodies.Think about it -We had ones we liked once, then poof,alien body take over and we transformed into living jello molds! ( And for that matter they have not yet gotten to the skinny minis remaining, so, Be afraid be very afraid!)
I used to say it was my mission to have everyone gain a tremendous amount of weight,so that I will LOOK skinny when I hang out with you, it was a diabolical plan, but unfortunately I can't resist the brownies any better than you can, and therefore I jiggle at the same rate as you do..Well some of you anyway( Incidentally I am having sign twirlers arrive at ALL the skinny peoples homes I know, so the aliens can easily find you as part of my New evil plan! Bwahaha) ( Yeah yeah I know, move on-)
Life and time add up on a body, like mile markers,at 20- I was thin, had a baby, another baby, and yet another baby and would swear that snack packs, oreos and spaghettios were survival foods, and that sleeping almost standing up was normal- in the 30's I put a few pounds on, but I dont know how( alien infusion?something like reversed lipo) Housework and homework and screaming at baseball fields about teamwork, and corn dogs and anything with cheese took over. Marriage blues and way to much stress took me under, and learning to run in multiple directions at once,made me gumby mom! Still I had my little jigglies..
In the 40's I tried to change the tide, and I did for a little bit, Walking a crazy route on top of rocks, through trees, across marshes and through wooded areas,but then I moved away from the 20 acre woods and farm lands I loved to hike through,and so I pretty much stopped walking.( Tennessee woods scare me, big snakes, hunters in suspenders and no shirts, tics as big as Texas, I NO like. And I have this desire to want to see nature better than it can see me!) I drink wayyyyyyyyyy to much coffee ( Never surrender never say Die! Coffee and I are tight like that) and the last year I have taken to a genuine love affair with ice cream. I Divorced in the 40's, man is that ever a harsh weight loss plan! Lost all my baby weight, and even the oreo weight and later remarried to a man who loves brownies as much as I do, and gained it back with love handles besides, I tell you I think that's alien karma.
OK, so I can't really blame everything on aliens.And No, I don't believe in them. Although I have met some very strange folks who honestly believe some very odd things. they kind of remind me of aliens, outer worldly and all, Some more so than others. ( I remember some guys in my highschool who ran around saying bleep, bleep, bleep in school with tinfoil antenna caps on their head, Okey dokey! More than likely they are devastatingly handsome and as wealthy as Donald ( I need to get a new hairstyle)Trump, but originally they were the fellows with the taped up glasses and plaid pants that you scooted away from in school, not because they were viral or smelly, just because they were really, really, weird! Another rabbit trail, sorry : / )
For instance a thought process I find odd is this, Why people think angels are so amazing? No seriously, ( Not that they aren't amazing, don't get your feathers in a twist) but I know people who have a gazillian angel figurines lying all over their house and they read all the angel stories they can get their hands on, total angel freaks, yet they adore a creation more than they do a creator even saying something along the lines of, "Well I don't really believe in God " "WHAT? you believe in angels but ya don't believe in God? hello, thunk thunk is anybody in there? (Why do I hear twilight zone music?) Are ya not realizing or soaking in the fact that it is God who sends angels to help?
They don't work by their own design their commissioned, When I hear those inspiring stories of angels, I don't think wow, what amazing angels, I think WOW what an amazing God, who would love me and others enough to send protection, healing, salvation or words of Hope and rescue- via messengers. How cool..You make no sense my little space cadet. Can you not see there is a truly loving God, who adores you enough to be real to you in a thousand ways both miraculous and simple? He is a whole lot more awesome than the fat little cherub you bought at the dollar store.
And why do people think its cool to wear a cross on their neck and then say a whole lot of words about God that make you wanna run with your fingers in your ears- screaming LA LA LA I don't hear you! ( OK maybe that's just me) See to me wearing a cross is about loving the beautiful King who died on it, understanding the gift in it- are ya hearing me? It's a symbol of love, beauty, transparency, hope, restoration, salvation, and its a story of victory. Your missing it! How sad.
And why do people always come up with the reason they don't come to church is because there are to many hypocrites in it, OK, so your the perfect representation of sainthood then? No ? hmm, Well if a hypocrites ever gonna get fixed don't ya think it should be in a place that might help them get the fixing? And while your at it, unless your really do lead a perfect life, no sin, spankin white .. Well baby, you belong with the rest of us..eh hem., 2nd pew from the back, I will scoot right over!
And why do people follow after the weirdest mindsets in cults about becoming a God or like God,Are you for real? Dude have you seen yourself in the morning? You got drool on your chin and whilst it is a possibility you could in a fell swoop kill a whole lot of people without lifting a finger ( yeah, its called morning breath)that's about all the power ya got,oh that and that not so stealthy armpit thing ya got going there.
So I'm thinking No.Your not really gonna go there oh high priest of twinkie town are ya? Oh Goddess of tarot and palm reading (Who joined arms with, oh whats her name again, one of the Jacksons sisters...drat I cant remember! Well that's the lasting imprint she left on me..Zzz) hey lady... Talk to the hand girl, cuz I aint coming anywhere near your rule of drool!
And why do we believe in the church today that ready acceptance is better than repentance? If we accept all sinful behavior in FEAR of dealing with their fruits, we really are not far from being rotten fruit ourselves, and believe me if this is the pot of new wine every ones raving about, NO THANKS its rancid with stuff I don't want to drink!!!
And why do we teach, preach and talk about the gifts in the body of Christ and then refuse to relinquish control long enough to let anyone use them, isn't that a tad weird? Kinda like saying wow look at my present, and 20 yrs later still having it sit on the shelf unwrapped..Hellooooo.... No wonder we are stagnant and dusty, no wonder the church is groaning instead of growing, and there is more growth than in numbers, try this thought on for size, GROWING PEOPLE SPIRITUALLY ( Can we do that? mmm yeah , its perfectly acceptable to count fruits more than heads!) (Watch out for those old prunes though, they don't like new growth much, stickn to the old ways is better, yup, almost as good as dying on the vine) Listen the way to grow is to let the move of God, MOVE! To encourage , to lift, to counsel, to promote growth and maturity in Christ! No wonder the fields are ripe and their are no laborers, we refuse to teach and enable and then follow through and do something with the giftings. Good Grief, that's just bizarre!
Hunny what is alien to me is all the stuff we accept into our hearts and minds, about God, about sin, about each other, and about whats right and wrong, because I believe, its a few planets off from the SON.
I don't ever want to come to a place where the things of God and the heart of God are far from me, its far more important to me to take my jiggly bits and Run to Him, (in essence becoming more and more an alien to the WORLD) than it it is to gain favor, climb up the ladder, be infamous, or gain a fortune,or improve my title-All of which are things we have made more valuable and more sought after,than relationship with Christ and with one another..
Shes an Alien an Alien I know....I actually can handle that, as long as its about HIM I will gladly take a ride on the God side. Hows about you, Rocket man? Ready to step away from all the junk and head into a whole new world?
Hey , I want to go where No generation has gone before- full throttle, and Unashamed for Jesus! Nothing holding me back, not even a few pounds, speaking of which- does that tractor beam have the ability to slice me down a couple of sizes? No huh? Figures...( Dang it worked in Galaxy quest to..that's so not right.....) OK ,Grab the oreo's and the coffee bro, Roll your Jiggly self ova, and we will keep our eyes to the skies! Beam US up Scotty!
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