Faith in action

Faith seems easy  to define- easy to comprehend. But ,in truth its an easier thought than it is an action. I was speaking to a brother in the Lord just yesterday and the conversation turned to why is it, some seem to be so blessed or at least untroubled,and they may not have a walk with God that is of surrender- they may not even have a relationship with God at all, Why do they see less hardships, than a believer such as my friend and I , walking out Gods will, believing him and surrendiering to Him, and yet-struggling to survive. I don't have the answer to that. I only know that the word promises the righteous won't be forsaken.
When we go through trying times, hard times, times of heartbreak and struggle, it can feel like God has forgotten or left us behind. Faith is strained, and the true test of it comes to light. Do I believe God, when I have to decide between buying staples that are needed, and keeping the electricity on.? Do I believe he loves, cares for, and supports me even when I cannot see those things currently in my life.
Well, I have found many who are not going through such hardships, quickly respond "Oh yes, I know God will supply," and many times, they offer pat answers, and judgemental observerations as to why your needs are not being met, and as to why  they think that your heart must not be in the right place.
Frankly it is exceedingly easy to respond well to trial when your not the one  in it or under it.
I turn back to the the Israelites as they walked through the desert- they had provision, water, manna, but after the day to day struggle of dessert heat-of being footsore and weary, even the things that were a blessing, in light of what they had known of comfort in Egypt, became, well- forgotten.
  Guess what? I crave an oreo now and then- or a Krispy Kreme donut,  I like socks without holes, and I could really use  some new clothes- and yes lovie, I have food in the pantry, not a ton, but enough to keep on keeping on for a little longer, but will it keep me from desiring a Krispy Kreme,a good steak, or a trip to the mall for some bath bubbles and a new outfit, no.
I comprehend that trials come, that God provides, but not much unlike my forefathers walking through the desert, I get tired of just manna and crave things I cannot have and have not seen for some time. I suppose to some that makes me ungrateful, I dont think it does, I think it just makes me human . I believe my ancient counter parts believed God, and saw his hand, and while there have been times in my life where I thought I would never act as ungrateful as the people following Moses in the desert, but- from this vantage point, I can now comprehend, want.
Heres the thing though my faith is tried, not because I believe God has abandoned me, not because I believe some unconfessed sin has held me captive( Believe me you go through something like this,and like Job, you throw everything but the kitchen sink at God, in considering what may keep you from his blessing, you dont leave a stone uncovered and you dont leave anything shoved under a rug, because frankly aint nobody wants to stay in a miserable place for this long..so no, there isn't any un-repented sin) I dont even believe my faith is tried at this point because the devil is persecuting me,not when I have a big God who could easily and readily come to my defense opts not to, sorry, not buying it. No beloved.,I am where I am because the Lord himself wants me to be here.
So what do I do from here?
Well, I look at it deeper. I look at it from an outsider view, that isn't tainted by perspectives of selfishness, or judgementalness. I look at it from a Gospel view.
See my Father asked me  many moons ago, if I would be willing to sacrifice all to follow Him. And I told him yes. Without thinking or pondering, or weighing it, I said yes.Know why? Because even though I had understood some hardship I had yet to walk a dessert. mmm. yep.  I understood sacrifice and commitment from a faith in thought view, not a faith in action one.
And, here I am. Suddenly I comprehend, Job having lost everything, plagued by illness, hurt by those he loved and trusted. I comprehend Jobs heart and mindset-. I See David, alone in a cave, weeping at loss, pained by his own sin, repentive, remorseful, helpless at times,and boardering hopeless, yet turning to God  again and again,asking for help, leaning in to the only company He had , God and God alone. I Comprehend.
I understand the Israelites, knowing a God of fearsome power, and complete mercy, of provision, and of guidance, yet at times while staring at yet another loaf of manna , and asking God "IS THIS IT? " Oh yes, I comprehend.
See we say we will carry the cross of Christ, and we fashion a set of wood, nail it together and we walk a mile on a public roadway, and say, there you go Lord, I carried it, but we in truth, gave nothing of lifetime of commitment in that, we barely broke a sweat, we did not feel blood trickle down our cheeks, we did not feel the splineters of rejection and betrayal, we did not touch the sins of a world lost, we did not bare it to death, we meerly, carried two by fours.
The reality is this beloved, when we make a promise to the Lord, we must weigh what we have promised, and realize, our FAITH will be tested, not because we are big toys on a chestboard, but because God has our GOOD in mind. Hard to fathom lovies, hard to believe in the midst of suffering , persecution, loss, that our Good is in mind, but it is.
How can I say that? ahhhh beloved, because I have Faith. Not faith in words, faith in FIRE. Faith in TROUBLE, Faith in HUNGER, Faith in LOSS. Faith in HEARTACHE. Faith in LONELYNESS.
When I look at the cross Jesus asked me to carry, I realize he wasn't being figuritive, he was telling me something deeper, something I couldn't comprehend without actually going through fire, and harship, and trial, and judgement, and betrayal, the cross has weight, it is not frivoulous, it is not a jesture, it has the weight of trial and tribulation and souls on it. Yes Lord I comprehend.
Faith is an action, it doesn't end in a hard time, it begins there. It envelopes the Gospel, and lives out a love for Christ that seeps from comprehension. So while some delve into theries and beliefs that Christains are unmarred by any hardships and that if we are of God. that we live worryfree, and financially blessed, I find, thats not the Journey I have walked at all, and in the journey I am seeing an inkling of what Jesus felt, I am comprehending Faith in a whole new light, I am leaving behind, krispy kremes and scented bath soaps, and carrying only my sandals.. Somedays i struggle because I have developed blisters on my feet in the walk,that I am tired and sore and dirty,but I also know, this is the walk he asked me to walk, he asked me to understand,he asked me to pursue, and I said Yes, and the ironocy is- today, knowing all I know, of sacrifice and loss, I would  still chose the sandals and the cross, and the closeness of comprehending, to the smallest degree, that I am indeed, being crucified with Christ. That my faith is forged by fire, and not because He wants me to suffer, but because he wants me to grow into being more LIKE HIM.
Beautiful Savior.